MY "10 Rules for dating MY Teenage Daughter"
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by Ken Lee
Ok…..I don’t actually HAVE a teenage daughter (or ANY daughter for that matter….but if I did, these would be MY rules for dating her. As always……your comments are welcome....especially those who DO have teenage daughters.......do you think my rules are too tough or do you agree with them??? LOL
1 - If your definition of “having a good job” involves playing your guitar in a subway station for spare change…….strum your sorry self outta here while your guitar gently weeps.
2 - If you are wearing your hat sideways………follow your hat……and exit stage left snagglepuss.
3 - If you can’t manage to keep your pants above your waist…or your boxer shorts are hanging down lower than your actual shorts.....buy yourself a belt….and learn how to dress….then come back and we can talk.
4 – If you have a spray tan and act like ANYONE from Jersey Shore…..fist pump your ass back to the “shore”
5 - If you call my daughter (or myself) “dude”……hop back on your skateboard and ride on back to the X Games…….cuz you won’t be playin’ around here.
6 – If you talk like Snoop Dog, or smoke as much weed as him……faschizzle your izzle out of my sight before I have to lay the smack down
7 – If you like Lady Gaga……”Just Dance” your “Bad Romance” out the door Alejandro.
8 – If you are an illegal alien…….(in the immortal words of the Soup Nazi) ADIOS MUCHACHO !!!
9 - There WILL be a criminal check….so fill out this form with your name , address and social security number (and any alias if necessary)…..then have a seat while we wait for the results.
10 – And finally…and most importantly……please empty your pockets and hand me your wallet……..if I see so much as ONE condom….it would be wise for you to start running……very fast !!
There ya go…….those are my rules……will we be saying “welcome to the family now? Yeah…didn’t think so.